Where I Was


In a matter of seconds, after hearing the autism diagnosis, I was forced to accept something I could not explain nor understand. I pressed the rewind button of my life, trying to figure out what happened. I placed all the facts of the past on the table for research and review — family tree, doctor’s visits, pregnancy issues & delivery, foods eaten and even the environment. But eventually, I realized that as gut-wrenching as autism was to hear and to accept, I could not continue playing the blame game. Wondering what went wrong only brought guilt and an indescribable pain to weaken my thought process and immobilize my feet from moving forward. I had to quickly accept the unfamiliar and the unexplored that my son wore everyday. It was attached…now with a name. It’s certainly something I would not have chosen for him, but I learned that instead of standing still or trying to decipher how to remove it, I had to see my son. He needed me…and “where I was” wasn’t helping him.

Thanks for listening,



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s